I'll Die On This Couch — Fried Ocean

They gave him six months. He gave them a cushion and the remote. This couch has absorbed every crisis of his adult life — two layoffs, one divorce, a small kitchen fire — and it is not about to release him now over something as routine as mortality.

Reported in full at Fried Ocean: "Impending Death Fails to Dislodge Man From Couch."

A unisex heavy blend pullover hoodie (Gildan 18500) with a double-lined hood, matching drawcord, and a front pouch pocket — a warm, hard-wearing cotton/polyester blend. Available in sizes S–3XL. Printed in the USA using direct-to-garment (DTG) printing. Machine wash cold inside out, tumble dry low, and avoid ironing directly over the print.